Saturday, March 19, 2011

Relieved and Tense

I am relieved to be out of Boston and moving quickly away from it. I'm tense as I don't know what the future holds. I've taken on the responsibility of clearing a heavily infected hard drive of a bad virus, so to speak. Perhaps if I had the right outside stimuli that would trigger something from his conscious mind...

What I have right now is some marble, table salt, green food coloring, and cold water. Yes, I know this is a repellent for still-unproxified individuals trying to hold off the effects of being haunted by It, but this is all I could come up with on short notice while on in transit to the Amtrak station. I've been applying the concoction to Ron. I hope that even though the weak formula won't cure him it will get him a step in that direction. I can't tell if it's had any effect. His speach has become a little more coherent, but that's it.
Damn it, I wish I had better guide lines than "keep Ron away from Slender Man and keep trying to get through to him" to work with. If anyone had any advise, please share it.

He sleeps a restless sleep right now. His brows furrow in distress as he tosses and turns every now and then. I'm moved to pity at the sight on him like this. I hope I can cure him, but the success rate of rehabitating proxies has not been good. A few of us here and there are former proxies, but most of them end up either dead, reverted, or worse. I promise I will do everything in my power to cure him, though. I will exhaust all possibilities.

As for my own concerns, I have a few. BL has recently informed me that I lost everything from my old life, and that even if I remember everything, I have nothing to go back to. I don't know what I feel about that. I feel a little relieved, yet very depressed at once. On one hand, it would seem then that Ron is the only person in immediate need of my help. On the other, that means I have no family or friends prior to my fellow bloggers and stalked left in this world.

Another thing that disconcerts me is that BL said I was consumed with revenge which made he easier to beat. What would happen if I remember everything? Would I become that bitter fellow once again? Would Pete, the me of now, be buried under the weight of who I was before? Somewhere between me and him. The same as I am now, but with more memories? Considering the possibilities scares me more than Slender Man ever has. Ironic considering It is at fault for this.
Well, no use in worrying about it jsut yet. Before I work on my own memory, I have a friend in need of help. I have the distinct impression I should work to repair one mind at a time. No use trying to do too much and getting nothing accomlished.

I tire now so I think I will be turning in. See you all later.

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